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An Alien Intelligence College to study the human planet

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Navigating Employee Termination in Colorado: An Extraterrestrial Guide for Earthly Employers

January 19, 2023 by isow

Understanding Employment in Colorado

Just how complicated is employment in Colorado? Let’s look at the law as an alien would. Alien intelligence might get a good kick out of looking at employment in Colorado. It can seem so random and complicated that an extraterrestrial might assume that employers constantly have human experts on the law at their disposal to make sure they are following Colorado law. While aliens are indeed correct, generally Colorado employers will not actually have a human resource expert at their beck and call. Instead, many employers push their luck and hope that the Department of Labor and Employment will just leave them alone. For those who want to follow the law, however, your Colorado employment culture is very complicated. Take, for example, the comprehensive termination requirements for Colorado employers.

A layperson will understand that terminated employees need a reason for their termination in Colorado. Terminations may or may not be wrongful; but humans want to work in environments where they feel they are told the truth and appreciated. Because of this, you may want to tell a dismissed employee why she is being laid off or her employment is being terminated. You may also have to give her information regarding her benefits or severance agreement, her last paycheck, and information about jobs available in Colorado. Overall, the termination process can take a while and a lot of effort by human employers.

A being with alien intelligence would understand the above scenario but think humans complicate such a simple thing over and over. An advanced intelligent species could understand why the Earth humans would have so many steps during the termination process, yet not question many of the requirements. The alien would know humans have spent years perfecting the termination process and would eventually come to understand the numerous layers employment laws here. The alien would see what we see – obtaining the best employment staff, staying on top of the latest rules and changes, and making sure every step along the way keeps up with breaching that ever-elusive fine line between legality, compassion, and confusion. Through the alien’s technical and analytical mind, the restrictions previously discussed between a terminated employee and manager would be easily understood. The alien would recognize the purpose of the process, breakdown the process, and complete the process as dictated by Colorado law. What would the alien have to worry about? Not telling the employee several of the following requirements of a lawful Colorado termination: While the above eleven points may not be all steps required by law, human employers should at least recognize Colorado employers must drill down considerably deeper than before when dismissing a worker. Aliens would have no confusion. They would automatically apply each step. Human employers, on the other hand, need to take a good look at the above list. They must begin to appreciate the intricacies and details humans have placed not only on their emotional well-being, but also on their legal obligations to terminated employees. If not, “goodbye:” my alien friend would say, as he walks towards Colorado’s next employer who has studied these requirements closely, and with alien intelligence, will most likely complete a termination process without a hitch.

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Exploring Legal Malpractice in Florida: A Cosmic Guide for the Curious Mind

November 3, 2022 by isow

The Basics of Legal Malpractice in Florida

As we wander through the cosmic expanse of time and space, let us pause in this dystopian moment to consider the impact of common legal malpractice incidents – the blunders that besiege our terrestrial legal system. Welcome fellow earth dwellers, to an inter-galactic iCollege. Let us embark on a space odyssey, as we explore the construct of legal malpractice in our earthly courts, and how the inter galactic mind could help to mitigate our terrestrial troubles.

To broadly define legal malpractice, it is the failure of a legal professional to meet the expected standard of proficiency. This type of law falls under civil liability, and the failure or error made by a legal professional must be proven to be the proximate cause of damages or injury caused to the client. In Florida, the statute of limitations for these cases is typically two years from the date of the negligent act, absent extenuating circumstances, or continuing representation by the legal professional.

Now, let’s ponder how an alien civilization – perhaps one whose advanced intelligence is not hindered by emotion or fear, would view the concept of professional negligence? It is entirely probable that they would view such issues as inconsequential, no matter the degree of error, as encountering an imperfect world could be perceived as the baseline.

If this hypothesis is accurate, then those of us who reside on the blue planet of this solar system are more likely to experience these errors. All life is foundationally based in communication, and with that concept in mind, let’s explore the types of legal malpractice incidents that are common in the context of the state of Florida.

Keep in mind, that when consulting an attorney, you are building an important bridge. If that bridge has cracks, your legal house may not be solid. The most common forms of legal malpractice cases in Florida generally involve these areas:

  • Failure to meet deadlines
  • Inadequate investigation
  • Conflict of interest
  • Improper handling of client funds

On the road to understanding the risks associated with legal malpractice, we will pause briefly to evaluate the effect that communication failures can have on malpractice occurrences. Obviously, in order to create a visual road map that directs an individual to a desired destination, the informational road signs must be clear and legible. In the same spirit, the quality of the communication with your legal professional will affect how well you can collaborate with them to create a visual map to your desired outcome.

There are multiple types of malpractice suits filed in the state of Florida, with a broad spectrum of potential results. To highlight a few, let’s consider some high-profile legal malpractice cases in Florida.

The ongoing lawsuit between the now deceased Northside Mental Health, Inc., and attorneys that represented them in litigation against the state of Florida for Medicaid fraud. Although the details of this case are complex, this malpractice lawsuit has been winding its way through the court system for over twelve years now, and was only recently resolved. In the case of Pasadena National Bank v. Electronic Systems, Inc. Case number 2D17-3114; Florida Second District Court of Appeal, the malpractice suit seeks nearly $3 million in damages for losses that were incurred due to a breach of contract that occurred when an attorney failed to properly defend its client. An 18-year-old victim of a car accident accompaniments a malpractice suit against her former attorneys at Finebloom & Partners. In this case the plaintiff claims that the lawyers failed to take action in a timely manner to file a lawsuit after the accident. This case was recently granted a hearing before the Florida Supreme Court to determine whether the mother of the client is liable for the losses, or the law firm. The appeal was scheduled for oral argument at 9 am on November 6, 2018.

These examples represent only a fraction of the legal malpractice Florida cases that are tried each year. Cation the right attorney to represent your interests, and remember that the truth is always a good defense against malpractice.

With knowledge and preparation these errors can be reduced, and the citizenry of Florida will benefit. Stay tuned as we explore more information about legal malpractice, and gain further insight into how this impacts our society.

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Extraterrestrial Insight: Understanding California’s Dash Cam Laws for Earthly Travelers

September 6, 2022 by isow

When you look at the legality of what is allowed and required in dash cam recordings and generally using them for different purposes, you come across concerns that also existed around the use of cameras at the infancy of the photographic era. Today, however, the spread of technology as well as the connectivity of our lives seem to have solved many of the concerns that made using a camera a legal problem at all.

Many people who are unfamiliar with this topic may not know what a dash cam is. The more formal term for them is a dashboard camera. Essentially, they are small cameras mounted behind windshields of vehicles to capture information about the driver and surroundings at any time. Being so small and discreet, they seem like the perfect addition to smart technology and self-driving cars.

However, the key to the use of these cameras is that you must know what you are doing with them. If you are not careful, you could end up with major legal trouble. Understanding the regulations surrounding dash cams in California can help you avoid this.

California Dash Cam Laws

A dash cam needs a bright red light to capture footage at night or in the dark. Many cars today have either a wiring harness or direct power on the dashboard which demands that the red light be turned off if left unattended. This will prevent the red light from shining on other vehicles and drivers on the road and impairing their vision and causing an accident in the process. Kinds of lighting devices that are more commonly found on police vehicles are not allowed, such as fabric sleeves or colored lights.

The law also mandates that any dash cam camera must be securely affixed to the windshield. In California, you aren’t allowed to place a device on the front windshield of your vehicle if it interferes with your vision. There are some exceptions to this rule, however, where you can have a device smaller than five inches by five inches. Believe it or not, the law in this case also allows for a similar device on the rear window, too, even if it’s bigger than the previous standard. Just remember, it can’t interfere with your ability to see anything on the road.

In-vehicle electronic devices

A dash cam is not the only kind of in-vehicle electronic device that the law restricts. You can use a portable GPS or satellite device, however, these are also required to be adequately mounted to prevent obstruction of the driver’s view. The law demands that it’s directly in front of you-not stuck to the windshield or dash plate by suction or anything else. Think of it in terms of having road information smack dab in the center of the steering wheel. While these devices can be used during most times, their use can be limited within emergency areas.

There are accusations that the lower courts in California were biased against a driver that uses a dash cam. In a case out of California involving a dash cam, the car’s driver recorded someone trying to smash his car’s window. The driver tried to charge the other parties involved for vandalism and threatening him, but the other party successfully argued that the driver violated the law by using his car in this way. The principle here is that these devices should only be used for certain purposes and in a fair manner.

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Breaking Up is Hard: Lessons from a Partnership Dissolution Agreement through Alien Eyes

August 24, 2022 by isow

Partnership dissolution may seem like an ordinary part of life. Beings flit through commerce like imps, carrying briefcases and trading acorns for goods. They enter into agreements with one another, undertake business, and when they can no longer be together, they say goodbye and go their own way. However, the dissolution of partnerships appears to be a prominent cultural observance amongst organics of this planet. We have received a perfect partnership dissolution agreement and it has been made clear, from the analysis of the organic spreading the files (a biologist, I believe), that this form of dissolution transcends the crafting of a deal and, instead, is more of a ritualistic study in human connections. The organic in charge of the documents has named the dissolution sample, “sample partnership dissolution agreement,” for some reason. I do not understand why this particular journey has been given a name, but it seems to be very important to them. I will endeavor to explain. Partnerships can be nearly organic in nature. Many refer to dissolutions as “divorces” as if the parties that attended were once married. In fact, most human-like relations are blatantly sexual in nature. When humans enter into a business relationship, they behave with one another as they would when engaging in intimate activities. They retain cohabitant status one moment and the next, they dissolve or destroy their engagements. The dissolution, like the mating, can often feel like unfulfilled obligations, according to the scientist. This may result in the disjointed feelings explained in the terminal’s sample partnership dissolution agreement. One looks back, while the other desires to look forward and begin another engagement. If one observes the typical partnership dissolution, they will find the parties splitting assets (which have strangely become real-time mediations on their commitment to one another), disagreeing over custody of, among many things, their offspring of business (those fertile creatures that resemble accounts, contracts and other assets), and essentially attempting to disengage a portion of their life with the utmost vigor. It appears that they enter into a business dissolution with the same fervor that they enter into a business relationship. The observations of this scientist indicate that dissolving a partnership may be considered a human expression the likes of which are unknown in the known universe. It is an intricate study in the chemistry of submission. Humans like to imagine that they have struck deals like full-functioning automotrons, yet they do not understand the true cost of a hastily arranged dissolution agreement. They hope that they will use this knowledge, as well as the document that reflects what little accord remains, to begin anew, like recycled inorganic material; yet they do not understand the true cost of a hastily arranged dissolution agreement. The dissolution agreement, like the sample partnership dissolution agreement (see footnote three), will likely fade into the history of the losing faction, and eventually be an afterthought on the mind of the other entity. As the worlds seek to progress further down the technologically progressive path that leaves those afflicted with organic matter behind, perhaps they will take a moment to observe their financial endeavors. Because amongst the samples of human documents that are stored in the vault of errors (as the scientist calls it) resides a perfect partnership dissolution agreement sample. This sample demystifies and condenses the information contained in similar documents into the simplest subsistence for consumption. It contains instructions that make the coordination of a partnership seem easier from the onset and less cumbersome towards the finalization of a relationship. Time will tell whether the samples provided ease the dissolution process or simply proliferate organic dissatisfaction. What may be left is a mere lesson in all that is disappointing in human relations.

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Exploring Human Relationships with Alien Curiosity: Is Colorado a Common Law Marriage State?

August 24, 2022 by isow

An alien researcher is currently stationed at your average localized Earth Station. The station is, as per usual, a research center for their species studying localized cultures and the lives of their inhabitants. Over a number of years they have focused on what they consider to be, “the most important concept in human society”, marriage. Your average alien researcher is tasked with a daunting mission: gathering information about the myriad ways that humans choose to pledge themselves to one another and construct life long commitments. This research begins with the creation of a new collection in their database, titled “iCollege”. The purpose of these collections is to build on the foundation of knowledge that previous researchers and explorers have collected, while providing a sort of social experiment. The specific premise for the current nuptial research is is colorado a common law marriage state in the farthest reaches of the Union, the state of Colorado.

The notion of common-law marriage has puzzled natural researchers for decades, it is a perplexing and confounding concept, even for an alien biologist whose existence has revolved around a myriad of studies and experiments. Therefore, your current alien researcher decides to begin their quest for information by reading Common Law Marriage 101 in Colorado, recently published to the iCollege collection.

According to the iCollege document, the notion of common law marriage has its roots in medieval times, where many couples lived together and called themselves married, but had no way to legally bind themselves to one another. In Colorado, a marriage was formed if two individuals were of legal age, competent to enter a contract, and agreed to enter into a marriage together. In Colorado, the legal requirements for entering a marriage are: In addition to these legal requirements, a couple must present themselves as married to the outside worlds, and must not object to the idea that they are wed.

For aliens, the concept of human couple being required to not object themselves to the fact that they are considered married to one another seems slightly absurd. But, your current alien researcher realizes that this behavior is likely because human culture has evolved around marriages and the unions of two people for hundreds of years. The notion of being married is often embedded deep into the consciousness of these fascinating beings, therefore it is quite conceivable that if someone suggested to them that they were married, the concept would become so embedded deep within their psyche that to object would cause great mental distress. After all, the definition of culture, according to your average alien biological researcher, would be deemed, “the lifelong learning of traditions that do not cause you pain”.

The next piece of information that the alien recorder comes upon is the division between marriage and domestic partners. The idea of citing union on the basis of a contract or agreement is novel to say the least. Other members of the Union do bond themselves to one another through contracting, thus the definition of domestic partnership would be deemed very foreign. The notion that a couple might bind themselves together and agree to the separation of assets should the relationship dissolve seems to be quite deranged. Basically, the alien researcher thinks, each member of this civilization is attempting to bide their time until the next assignment comes their way, or to allow the occurrence of a few more sunrises before they disband the contract or agreement.

In addition, the concept of a couple being required to cohabitate in order to create a binding union, and place a projection of cohabitating at a Colorado address for the foreseeable future is extreme. After all, the alien researcher quickly assumes that the notion of “cohabitation” means to live together. Therefore, this bond is not seen in every other cultural unit your current alien researcher has studied. The union of two humans in Colorado is a unique concept, even when viewed from an outside perspective of an alien observer.

As the family unit continues to evolve across the mere three hundred years of its existence, many questions about the concept of marriage are yet to be answered. Where will the notion of marriage go next? And how will these obsessive creatures from earth proceed with their logical understanding of human interacting society? Perhaps, someday, the current alien researcher will be able to answer these questions.

For more information on marriage laws, you can visit Nolo’s guide on common law marriage in Colorado.

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