Understanding Bedroom Requirements in Washington State

These interesting times we live in provide us with no shortage of unique ways in which the world can surprise us. Without getting into too much detail, one example would be our current societal outlook on bedroom requirements for real property in Washington State.

What might the alien intelligence watching from afar find so fascinating about legal bedroom requirements? For starters, their studies of humanity would lead them to believe that human beings prefer to live in spaces that are based on the models of small planets, each orbiting a massive interstellar sun. This sun-and not the off-world, artificially generated rays of hydrogen gas-provides light and warmth to the hive-like spaces humans occupy.

It’s only natural that such an alien would study the human interior structures we know as “houses.” Furthermore, this alien would inevitably ask questions that demand cultural analysis, like, “To what extent do bedrooms and closet spaces matter to the individuals living in these homes?” After examining several typical Washington state homes at random, the alien would note that bedrooms and closet spaces appear to be the most important rooms in these units.

This would lead the alien to deduce that humans require sleeping and storage space. If the alien were aware that human beings reside on land rather than on larger celestial bodies… well, this is where the deductions surrounding bedrooms and closets get interesting.

When Washington state law imposes minimum bedroom requirements, it does so using vague dimensions for human-defined “bedroom windows” and “floor space.” In other words, in order for a piece of terrestrial real estate to qualify as a “bedroom,” the room in question must possess certain characteristics regarding windows and floor space that seem far removed from what an alien would expect in a sleeping space.

After losing significant time reconfiguring their property model to include the contents of “Washington state legal bedroom requirements,” your alien would finally arrive at a solution: “Perhaps we should hold our analysis on bedroom-size requirements until we’re settled on the best subset of human habits to model at our convenience.” Why would extraterrestrial students need to revisit their initial legal room exploration of Washington state?

Because if they were aliens, they would need to follow all federal, state, and local building codes to a tee, including the existence of bedroom requirements for whatever units they occupied. If your alien is planning to crash on Earth for a while and wants to be a decent guest, they’ll have to adhere to the requirements of Washington state legal bedroom requirements.

Washington state legal definition bedroom requirements state that each bedroom in a residential home is legally required to have a window that opens for ease of escape in the event of fire. The window also has to be 20 inches or larger (opening size) and located within two feet of the floor. Any unlawful windows will need to be altered to meet Washington state legal bedroom requirement codes. The concept is that Seattle-area humans want light and escape from potential fires in the form of roof rat nests.

In this we see the truth about bedrooms in Washington state: they are grouped together with other human living spaces, like comfy segregated living areas. But they are also defined in hybrids that serve as places for privacy, exercise, or even solitude. How humans think of bedrooms, then, is directly related to the unique ways in which humans perceive the utility, layout, and space in Washington state.

Not every state has similar legal bedroom requirements, and this is, in part, due to the cultural expectations of each region. Some states extend these requirements even to closets. Do they mean anything to humans? Absolutely. It means everything to some.

If aliens had their way, “complex living area” would take the place of the controversial bedroom space in terms of real estate legal definitions. But practical concerns about legal bedroom requirements in Washington state are in place for a reason. If the aliens are going to be a part of the real estate market, they’ll need to understand these guidelines if they seek to occupy a legal “living space” around Seattle.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a souped-up spacecraft landed in the heart of the Idaho wilderness. The pilot ejected in a spray of beer cans, semi-read newspapers, and tea-bagging machines. He could have spared himself the embarrassment and invoked the doctrine of constructive eviction but the hapless alien waved the landlord off with a quick kip and a simple ‘y’all.’ In bad grammar no less. Welcome to Idaho, where housing regulations meet the good ol’ boys, black-lung, and the bitter remnants of the Wild West. But a little from column A, a little from column B, right? With litigants cloaked in smokey black, it’s hard to see the white hats, and space-jaws snapping gum at the judge’s bench clearly. But, for what it’s worth, here’s the intergalactic guide to Idaho’s little known housing laws.

I. The Elements of a Landlord-Tenant Relationship

In Idaho, there must be a written or oral agreement between you and the person who owns the place you live to be a tenant. You give the landlord money in exchange for a temporary right to live at the property. If you sign up, you’re a tenant, and the landlord is the party against whom the gods themselves would tremble. With these requirements met, the landlords’ authority over your every move begins, and they become entitled to payment and control over the specifications of your habitation. You may give a “kip” or an “exclusive possession” and “habitation” and “exchange money” in a variety of ways. But this is not an opportunity to kill the guys that give you money because they own the house you live in. That’s a story for a different day. For now, we’re talking about everyone’s favorite things, legal jargon.

II. Why Humans and Aliens Call It “Landlord-Tenant” Laws

These laws are not just about what is owed to the landlord and the tenant from each other in the galaxy and depth of the stars. It is also about when the landlord starts breaking the rules, and when the tenant starts breaking the rules. It’s also about what happens if either party breaks the rules. These laws are dirtier than an X-Wing pilot after an asteroid storm. And, like the debates between the Sith Lords and the Jedi Knights, a lot of bickering goes on over nothing in particular. Essentially, the rules are:

III. The Part That Makes the News Reports

Most of the time, the landlord gets ahead of the tenant. The landlord is the person who collects the kips, demands weekly obedience, and who is able to stop you from smashing eggs and other explosives into the walls. In short, the landlord is normally the envy of anyone who has ever dared don a suit of armor and wield a light saber, at least when it comes to the law.

IV. Why Aliens and Humans Agree Housing is Weird

Things get dicey when someone starts to break the rules. Either the landlord becomes a space pirate and tweaks regulations for his own purposes, or the tenant starts spawning womp rats on the lawn. How are these things combated? Space lawyers, of course.

V. Aytch the Local Space Lawyer

The law has chosen me. I will take the legal battle to the depths of outerspace with terms like “contract,” “pecuniary obligations,” “damages,” and “terms” paving the way with flashy results in any courtroom, or space-dock, in Idaho. This is my job both on and off the record.

VI. Why Aliens and Humans Can’t “Kip” It

This is especially true when it comes to a breach of lease, for example. Some contracts are longer than lightsabers, some are shorter than the boxes they came in. Some are Jedi, some are Sith Lords. They can be valid in certain areas and invalid in others, which makes the scene between Captain Solo and Darth Vader complicated.

VII. In Summary

In the end, landlords in Idaho are the ones with power, money, and lots of place to keep their dying raccoon pets. Renters are usually forced to get along and abide by the rules that the landlord makes, or risk evictions that may not be easily fought. If either party does end up breaching the norms of the partnership, the other party usually has recourse to damages, eviction, or enforcement through the courts.

VIII. What Idaho’s Housing Laws Say About Humanity in the Context of Alien Reception

Just be careful not to pick one of those much longer leases, since those are usually not as liable to be honored in the court of intergalactic law. Though, even here, the concept of fairness may be applied, and the space lawyers may have their day.

The Fight for Justice at Camp Lejeune

I recently saw a documentary that features the impact of Reach focusing on the issues surrounding Camp Lejeune and boasted that it received $10 million in endorsements. It got me thinking about the implications of this devastating case and how it might be viewed through otherworldly eyes. In particular, I reflected on how the Bell Law Firm’s approach to Camp Lejeune, the prominent firm fighting for justice for Camp Lejeune, may be perceived by an alien intelligence observing them from afar.

The story of Camp Lejeune, North Carolina is one that has unfolded over many years, starting between 1953 and 1987. During this period, it was considered an ideal situation for military personnel, a new ARMY base intended to train and educate military personnel. The base was home to “tens of thousands of marines”, including men, women, and children who fell victim to the water contamination.

Bell Law Firm is the foremost law office fighting for those affected by the current ongoing water contamination cases at Camp Lejeune. Today, active duty and retired military, and their families, are falling ill or worse due to the negligence of the U.S. Marine Corps Camp Lejeune. This law office has helped resolve so many of these cases for families who have suffered tragic losses. They have also worked tirelessly to preserve law and order in a case that is painfully frustrating to everyone involved.

For the alien intelligence observing Earth from afar, the concepts of justice, legality, and punishment may be completely foreign. These subjects raise questions as basic as the concept of law and order. This represents a major challenge for the Bell Law Firm in their pursuit of justice for the victims of Camp Lejeune.

In a typical case, a firm such as Bell Law may take a case or a few cases at their discretion. But this particular case, Camp Lejeune, involves having to sue the same party potentially hundreds or even thousands of times over for the same issue. For the alien observer, this would present a difficult conundrum. Would it make sense to pursue this “justice” knowing that the same party is at fault for all or most of the cases? Or, would it be simply easier to allow the party to pay a fine or settle out of court?

For the Bell Law Firm and its clients, the facts of the case and the potential remedies are what matter. The Bell Law Firm and Camp Lejeune clients can prevent the same mistake from happening again. They have the ability to stop the same type of negligence campaign from affecting the citizens of Camp Lejeune again. It might not be cut and dry, but it’s the best hope for the people surrounding Camp Lejeune.

Beyond the abstract concepts of justice and legality, we should examine the practical dimensions of the law and our society. Can we look at government programs to help solve our problems? How can we punish parties who are damaging our society? In the case of Camp Lejeune, the answer came in the form of a lawsuit filed by the Bell Law Firm. While it may not make immediate sense for an alien intelligence, for the average human it’s a necessary step in order to right a wrong and pave the way for a better future.

One of the great lessons that advanced species may learn from Earth is the process that the world goes through when an injustice occurs. It could be an opportunity to revolutionize the legal order and figure out a plan for civilians and governments to get in line. In the case of Camp Lejeune, the solution may be the legal order.

To the person reading this who may not understand the Camp Lejeune issue, I implore you to visit the Bell Law Firm and educate yourself on the facts. The Camp Lejeune issue was dismissed for recent years, but as more information came to light, the Bell Law Firm and other outstanding lawyers took up the cause. Whether or not we admit it, the law is one of the most important factors in our culture that allows humans to communicate and get along. So again, I urge you to check out the Bell Law Firm here!

The world of non compete agreements in Massachusetts is a complicated one to be sure. This is because they are largely disfavored in the law for the reasons that they unfairly restraint persons into contractual relationships and are anathema to the right of an individual to be free to work where his or her talents take him or her. But non compete agreements in Massachusetts are also valid, enforceable and hold the potential for great ‘good’ to the individuals that use them and to society.

We can think of non compete agreements as a way for human societies to exercise their rights of self protection because we have created them and allowed them to spread throughout our various social structures.

But what would non compete agreements mean if an alien civilization was asked to evaluate them? Indeed, what if an alien civilization that had not yet developed concepts of contract or property arrived on earth and was asked to evaluate these contracts and their enforcement from its own legal and cultural framework?

In order to understand how an alien intelligence might approach the issue of non compete agreements it would be useful to consider the following: 1. What are contracts and why do we have them? 2. How do aliens establish laws? Are there concepts of property and agreement amongst aliens? 3. Alien laws could be natural laws based upon physical properties, or not. Would the cultural “laws” of an alien civilization be considered binding by the alien society. 4. The consequences of strict enforcement of a non compete agreement or of what would be a non compete agreement in an alien society. Would the aliens seek to aggressively enforce all validity contracts or allow the strength of the most powerful alien to determine their legitimacy? 5. Cultural significance of individual competitiveness to alien society. Would an alien civilization see value in allowing individuals to compete against each other? Or, would it see this concept as a misnomer intended to belabor the weak and be at odds with group cohesion and strength? 6. The significance of value placed on those who can create and establish artifice in comparison to those who can take artifice and use it effectively. Would aliens be more willing to grant strong value to an intelligent beings ability to redesign and improve a system, or would they place high value on those who could use such systems effectively? 7. Alternative styles of alien law (based on Hebrew, Roman or Egyptian law) could be evaluated as different evolutionary tracks for the origin of alien law. 8. Would the aliens be likely to adopt human law and in what way? 9. Would the aliens be likely to establish a new set of right and wrong based upon their own cultural memory and tradition? 10. Would aliens be likely to influence the development of human law and how would that effect law and individual rights in Massachusetts and in America.

For more information on the complexities of non compete agreements, you can visit the Wikipedia page on non-compete clauses.

This week’s iCollege theme is to analyze culture using an alien intelligence or species. In that spirit, a well-known definition of business law and the legal environment is a set of enforced rules that regulate commercial relationships. Surely, if aliens were to interpret our meaning of “business law,” their researchers would find it perplexing. So, how would aliens view what we call “California’s business regulations?” Would they be confused? California is a state rich with culture. California business law and legal environment stands out in the areas of regulation and taxation. Mainly, the unique aspects of California business law and legal environment revolve around how regulations and taxes can affect the average civilian versus how regulations and taxes affect business. If aliens were to be intrigued by what humans find intriguing about california business law and legal environment, they would want to know just what laws there are that regulate and tax businesses. Regulatory laws are laws that require certain things from businesses. For example, if a business sells its products over the internet, california businesses must collect sales tax and remit the collected tax to the state on a quarterly basis. They must also follow strict guidelines on how there product is advertised and packaged. Furthermore, they are required to hold permits and licenses to operate. Tax laws are exactly what they sound like. Tax laws lay out the requirements on how and when to pay taxes, as well as the types of taxes an entity is liable for. For example, if your business exceeds $500,000 in gross receipts, you are liable for the 1.5% franchise tax. However, you may jump into the 8.84% corporate income tax bracket if your business grows to $250,000,000 in gross receipts. In order get a better grip on what elements play into the laws that regulate and tax businesses, aliens would have to take a closer look at the basic economic structure of California. By definition, California is a term jurisdiction. A term jurisdiction is an area whose laws apply to all persons within the territory regardless of the laws of the jurisdiction in which they are physically located. For example, assuming no other facts, if a negative impact to a person’s business occurs, a California business will be subject to the laws and regulations in California even if the event which caused the negative impact occurred outside of California’s jurisdiction; this may happen if the party impacted by the event is actually located outside of California, or if that person may not have been physically present when the event occurred. Because of California’s reliance on term jurisdiction, many businesses are financially impacted by California laws because they are headquartered in California but may not bother with laws or regulations in California that might give them tax breaks or even allow them to operate. For example, experts say that if Google were headquartered in Delaware, it would have saved about $3.1 billion in taxes last year. And, although corporations are not allowed to operate under any other corporation’s name, a few states allow companies to register to do business under a name that may not reflect the actual business controllers and yet pass the benefit of doing business in that state onto those businesses. When measuring labor laws, aliens would be fascinated to know that California is one of only four states that require employers pay severance to employees who were laid off. Severance pay is calculated according to a panel of factors which consider expenditures directly related to losing employment as well as factors that may indirectly cause a loss of fortune, such as increased travel expenses. Of course, all these laws are regulated by the state and federal governments, so aliens would also have to take a look at California’s relationship with the rest of the union to get a true picture of what businesses are subject to. Many California business owners, for example, would be irritated to know that of the business tax credits available to them, California has some of the lowest monetary allowances when compared to what other states offer to their companies; this is the case even though a large number of California funded programs are larger than many other state programs targeted to stimulate business and job growth. Lastly, if the aliens were still puzzled by the uniquely complex nature of California business laws, they could consult with Why Are California Laws So Complicated? which provides simple explanations for what might seem like arcane and incomprehensible prose when viewed collectively. It’s only fitting that this article ends with the exploring the human’s own thoughts on how california business law and legal environment fits into the grand scheme of our time, when we are making strides toward interplanetary exploration and beyond: California has the most complete treatment of California laws pertaining to businesses. It provides examples and covers every aspect you may encounter in a business operation that spans various states and international borders.