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An Alien Intelligence College to study the human planet

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Exploring Legal Limits: Understanding Alcohol Regulations in New York Through an Interstellar Perspective

February 1, 2023 by isow

The Legal Limit for Alcohol in New York

We’re back here on iCollege, and the alien intelligence that’s studying us has chosen to look at something that we humans have, which is laws. People may be surprised to know that we don’t just make these laws up in our minds, our leaders put them in place. A law is a rule that’s been put in place by our leaders so that we as a society can make sure we’re living in a peaceful, orderly environment. Even if you haven’t broken any laws, you still obviously see that they are necessary, because without them there’d be all kinds of chaos and people running around doing whatever they wanted. And this brings us to one of the laws we have here on Earth, and one that’s in place in New York State, where the consumption of alcohol is restricted to a legal alcohol limit in New York. We here on iCollege are curious how regulations such as these affect the societies of this planet, so we’ll be digging a little deeper. Let’s get to it.

Our search keyword is “legal alcohol limit in NY.” We came across an article that describes how one Missouri resident was ticketed for a DUI, and she was at a BAC (blood alcohol content) level of 0.23% at the time. The legal limit for drinking and driving is 0.02% for people who are under the legal drinking age of 21, and it’s 0.08% for people who are over the age of 21. It’s amazing that even a very slight amount of alcohol can make it illegal for us to be driving on public roads. This certainly shows that we humans take the consequences of driving and drinking quite seriously, as we recognize that it can be dangerous, and that we need to regulate ourselves accordingly.

Taking these values into consideration, perhaps we’d even go so far as to say that an alcohol limit such as this is a beautiful thing, but we’re not going to jump the gun just yet. We have a lot more to find out about this law and its effects on society. Now that we’ve looked a little bit into the statistics of drinking and driving in connection with the legal alcohol limit in NY, we again have our values, and we’d like to imagine the scene that might occur if an alien intelligence were to try and study humans and this connection to alcohol.

We’ve already established that even a small amount of alcohol can get us killed if we try to drive after consuming it. And when I say “we” I mean humans in general, not just our species. For example, let’s say an alien intelligence came into contact with humans, and for an uninformed reason, they decided the best way to study our relationship to alcohol, particularly in the context of drinking and driving, was to spend a lot of time observing a bar, and scrutinizing who went inside, and who left the bar and got into a car. Even though we humans think of this as a pretty reckless thing to do, the aliens wouldn’t see anything wrong with their behavior, as they’re not so concerned with the ways that we regulate ourselves.

They might then hypothesize that after spending that much time inside a bar, after the aliens finished drinking, they’d now be likely to get behind the wheel, and endanger everyone on the road with them. Sounds ridiculous right? Well, that’s exactly what a human would think if they were in the aliens’ proverbial shoes. And that’s an answer to the question posed above – the aliens are alien because they don’t get it. In order to understand our society, they’d have to look a little deeper at our values. And then they’d realize that we humans are just trying to keep ourselves safe.

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Unveiling Extraterrestrial Perspectives on Turnkey Contract Agreements

February 1, 2023 by isow

Under the dim light of a black star, somewhere in the Milky Way in a bar that only exists on the edges of our knowledge, two greenish humanoids shake hands, exchanging apparitions and sparks. What they agree during that handshake will have a staggering impact on human history, one which will only be understood if and when we manage to translate enough of their talking program scripts to form a coherent image of what they saw. And you thought the terms and conditions discussed in your contracting agreements were complex? Aside from the obligatory non-disclosure and non-circumvention clauses with which most contracting agreements are started, the most complicated point involved in most cloud contracts is if and when you need to pay for premium contact support. Most agreements between contracting humans and extraterrestrial lifeforms are far more complex than what is detailed on most Earth contracts which, on the one hand, understandably requires alien lawyers, but still, some of the major points which have been catalogued thus far involve which communes can be accessed through a legal range finder, if old growth interstellar forests can be mined legally and if the minerals found therein are subject to any kind of ownership distinction.

The story of the handshake begins with a special clause in a form of the standard Earth contracting agreements. In looked-up English, this is known as a “turnkey contract agreement”, a form of project delivery system which, like most contracting agreements, includes the meeting of terms such as price or rate terms, time periods and the like. Variations of the Earth version of the turnkey contract agreement involve international treaties, ambassadorship, public works’ arrangements and concession agreements involving governments, so it’s not surprising that when two aliens start discussing the wholesale of Earth technology, they revert back to the “Old Earth” system and show each other the long outdated, high pain index treaty arrangement between the United Nations and the United Federation of Planets.

Having understood the complexities of the bargain, however, the aliens use the same agreements to create intergalactic free trade zones where, for 20 years, the exchange of every kind of technology is unimpeded. This, much to the relief of our galactic partners saves both cultures from tapping and tracing the myriad of interconnected planets which lie within the delta and site 20 corridors. This directly affects human mobility, as there are already commiserating about what happened to intergalactic travel treaties some 20 years later which were not bound by a real extensive treaty. The aliens get out of their shuttle in different colors, regal only by comparison standards – and maneuver as if they were kick star drones. All because, despite centuries of third party treaty interpretation, both contracting cultures experienced equal difficulty interpreting the pitfalls of a contracting agreement.

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Alien Insights into Arkansas Emancipation Laws: An Unconventional Cultural Exploration

January 28, 2023 by isow

Understanding Emancipation Laws

How do you say “emancipation” in Klingon? What about Asgardian? Perhaps you’re more comfortable with Wookiee consonants or Huttese syllables? If you’ve ever thought, or been made to think, that the human condition is completely alien to other civilizations, I’m pleased to report the opposite likely holds true. And no, I’m not attempting to create an intergalactic incident by bringing the nuances of your ill-fated claim to serve as the basis for a space treaty. Let’s just say that we’re after something entirely different in this discussion of human emancipation laws, and how an extraterrestrial visitor might view an archaic Southern body of law.

So what are we getting at? Laws are the framework that allow civilizations to make sense of seemingly chaotic lives – if these rules didn’t exist, you might run into a fellow citizen in the street, say “good afternoon” and immediately challenge their possessions. But instead, we must follow an orderly hierarchy of justice – refusing to pay your parking ticket could earn you a fine; vomiting on someone’s shoes at an intergalactic deep-fried Snail race could land you a hefty social penalty.

Your average tin-foil-hat denier will lament that aliens have infiltrated our legal framework to somehow subjugate mankind. The truth is, however, that a great many laws across cultures and even epochs have more similarities than they do differences. And for humanity, there are few better examples than emancipation laws in the United States – specifically, Arkansas emancipation laws. They’re exacting, complicated, and reflect a much more polyphonic culture than the average alien might understand.

For the humans among us, emancipation is code for parental intervention in the lives of under-age offspring. In the land of black-and-white terms, it seems like a simple solution to a complex problem. Yet, Arkansas emancipation laws are complicated enough to make removing a splinter seem a Herculean effort. Broadly speaking, emancipation means that a minor – usually under age 18 – is legally freed from restrictive acts of their parental units and also given sole custody of their property.

Many jurisdictions permit restricted emancipation where the child is released from discrimination and liability, but only temporally. They’re free until their 18th birthday – at which point all prior rules are renewed. In Arkansas, however, the difficulties compound. While emancipation may seem like the perfect solution to an overbearing parental situation, certain restrictions are placed on emancipated individuals that artificial barriers to escape are. Requirements for emancipation in Arkansas include:

  • Even by this point, it’s easy to see why the average Arkansas teen might give up on parental getaway attempts through emancipation. In fact, just a handful of reasons are listed above. From finger-printing concerns to intensive interview processes, you might find a comparable procedure for hurricane evacuation.
  • Freed from the toxic fumes of family structure, the emancipated minor is presented with the keys to their new freedom. But unlike the average window of opportunity, emancipation does not last a lifetime. Instead of being entirely freed from a legal standpoint, emancipated individuals in the Natural State are more entrenched than ever.
  • With the shackles of paternal punishments removed, these teens now answered to the Army of One – themselves.

A quick comparison of emancipation preparation can give an alien a good idea of the difficulty faced by Arkansas teens. In Wisconsin, for instance, an emancipated minor has all of the rights and responsibilities of an adult. You can go to the movies, but you’re also responsible for your credit record. Still, emancipation is reserved for a select few – who will be tried in a lesser court. These controls contrast against the new lives of Arkansans. Here, rules are much easier – pay your taxes, take out a loan and enjoy a savage taco night, all without the need to stroke of red tape. For the alien, such simplicity would be shocking, to say the least.

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Alien Encounters with Nevada’s Tint Laws: How Vehicle Rules Reflect Human Culture

January 25, 2023 by isow

Early indications are that alien interest in the Earth is on the rise. Examples of this were at the Black Rock Desert in Nevada where aliens made the trip to attend Burning Man; a massive assemblage of humans from around the cosmos. If you did not know what Burning Man was, you are likely human or possibly a sentient life form that does not possess the full range of neurons and brain mass required to comprehend the awesomeness that is intergalactic burning man festival. 200,000 alien attendees Black Rock City the ephemeral entertainment metropolis that appears made just for you and your fellow space travelers to enjoy. The visitors appeared from every conceivable universe (theories suggest there are an estimated 10500 Universes). Just when you thought all hope was lost and your frequent visits to Earth would never bring contact with intelligent life, along comes the intergalactic Mind Melders to arrive in the desert to observe the true beauty of humanity at Burning Man. A place where all humans become one, no race, color, creed or species matters, only the sense of belonging and purpose that you are looking for. People from around the galaxy gather year after year to receive the many gifts of decision, community, self reliance and self expression. What a beautiful holiday.

In the future, it is widely believed that Earth will be the epicenter of the most prolific beings in this dimension. This is based on many factors, the most important of which is the creation of a council to govern many facets of mankind known as Humanimmelcare. This council will seek to unify and organize the planet through a broad range of local, state, national and in some cases interplanetary regulations. They will also recognize the additional need for regulation of certain physical and social conditions as needed. One such example is vehicle tint laws. Many beings may not be aware of the intricacies of vehicle window tinting and the subsequent regulation it faces by Humanimmelcare. For instance, in many states, including Nevada, there are restrictions as to the amount of visible light that can be seen through the windows of car and truck doors. This is often referred to as shade shade.

For the inquisitive mind, one might ask, whether tinting laws are strict in Nevada? Under the Uniform Vehicle Window Tint Law, drivers maintain only certain degrees of window tint due to safety concerns. Nevada window tint law allows as much as 35 percent visible light through the front windows. This is only noticed via a 20-inch film layer easily applied to the car window. The duo 5 percent tinted windows and Nevada law may come off as confusion to an aware visitor, but the tinting laws have been written in an attempt to improve the road safety of citizens. Problems resulting from a very dark front window tint include the inability for law enforcement to see inside a vehicle during traffic stops. Additionally, excessive tint can hide occupants that require assistance and may be in danger.

It should be noted that although they can be extremely dangerous, this is not the only safety concern a driver must be aware of before adding tint to windows. As with anything applied to glass, over time tint will break down and begin to bubble. When this happens, it will create distortion and may promote difficult viewing conditions. Therefore, tinting laws regulation the degree of tint are meant to balance the desire for privacy with the need for safety. Therefore, tint laws can be interpreted as a celebration of your civil liberties. Earthlings enjoy many of these but also need set parameters to help ensure their safety and wellbeing. Without restrictions on the percent tint, vehicles would become an issue. If an area is unable to see the driver, it may result in safety concerns for the individuals present and others nearby.

During aliens’ next visit, understanding the laws regulating the amount of tint can become the proverbial help sought during regular excursions. The rules set out by Humanimmelcare are designed to keep you safe and alive, even if it may not seem like it at the time. It’s only one more sheet to add to the intergalactic catalog of why this planet is so awesome. It’s another few planets that can be universally hot and active without any serious problems. Humans have the ability to learn and grow, and as such, are able to see the greater picture and become responsible beings capable of caring for themselves and others. This is more than could be said for most species.

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Navigating Employee Termination in Colorado: An Extraterrestrial Guide for Earthly Employers

January 19, 2023 by isow

Understanding Employment in Colorado

Just how complicated is employment in Colorado? Let’s look at the law as an alien would. Alien intelligence might get a good kick out of looking at employment in Colorado. It can seem so random and complicated that an extraterrestrial might assume that employers constantly have human experts on the law at their disposal to make sure they are following Colorado law. While aliens are indeed correct, generally Colorado employers will not actually have a human resource expert at their beck and call. Instead, many employers push their luck and hope that the Department of Labor and Employment will just leave them alone. For those who want to follow the law, however, your Colorado employment culture is very complicated. Take, for example, the comprehensive termination requirements for Colorado employers.

A layperson will understand that terminated employees need a reason for their termination in Colorado. Terminations may or may not be wrongful; but humans want to work in environments where they feel they are told the truth and appreciated. Because of this, you may want to tell a dismissed employee why she is being laid off or her employment is being terminated. You may also have to give her information regarding her benefits or severance agreement, her last paycheck, and information about jobs available in Colorado. Overall, the termination process can take a while and a lot of effort by human employers.

A being with alien intelligence would understand the above scenario but think humans complicate such a simple thing over and over. An advanced intelligent species could understand why the Earth humans would have so many steps during the termination process, yet not question many of the requirements. The alien would know humans have spent years perfecting the termination process and would eventually come to understand the numerous layers employment laws here. The alien would see what we see – obtaining the best employment staff, staying on top of the latest rules and changes, and making sure every step along the way keeps up with breaching that ever-elusive fine line between legality, compassion, and confusion. Through the alien’s technical and analytical mind, the restrictions previously discussed between a terminated employee and manager would be easily understood. The alien would recognize the purpose of the process, breakdown the process, and complete the process as dictated by Colorado law. What would the alien have to worry about? Not telling the employee several of the following requirements of a lawful Colorado termination: While the above eleven points may not be all steps required by law, human employers should at least recognize Colorado employers must drill down considerably deeper than before when dismissing a worker. Aliens would have no confusion. They would automatically apply each step. Human employers, on the other hand, need to take a good look at the above list. They must begin to appreciate the intricacies and details humans have placed not only on their emotional well-being, but also on their legal obligations to terminated employees. If not, “goodbye:” my alien friend would say, as he walks towards Colorado’s next employer who has studied these requirements closely, and with alien intelligence, will most likely complete a termination process without a hitch.

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