Breaking Up is Hard: Lessons from a Partnership Dissolution Agreement through Alien Eyes

Partnership dissolution may seem like an ordinary part of life. Beings flit through commerce like imps, carrying briefcases and trading acorns for goods. They enter into agreements with one another, undertake business, and when they can no longer be together, they say goodbye and go their own way. However, the dissolution of partnerships appears to be a prominent cultural observance amongst organics of this planet. We have received a perfect partnership dissolution agreement and it has been made clear, from the analysis of the organic spreading the files (a biologist, I believe), that this form of dissolution transcends the crafting of a deal and, instead, is more of a ritualistic study in human connections. The organic in charge of the documents has named the dissolution sample, “sample partnership dissolution agreement,” for some reason. I do not understand why this particular journey has been given a name, but it seems to be very important to them. I will endeavor to explain. Partnerships can be nearly organic in nature. Many refer to dissolutions as “divorces” as if the parties that attended were once married. In fact, most human-like relations are blatantly sexual in nature. When humans enter into a business relationship, they behave with one another as they would when engaging in intimate activities. They retain cohabitant status one moment and the next, they dissolve or destroy their engagements. The dissolution, like the mating, can often feel like unfulfilled obligations, according to the scientist. This may result in the disjointed feelings explained in the terminal’s sample partnership dissolution agreement. One looks back, while the other desires to look forward and begin another engagement. If one observes the typical partnership dissolution, they will find the parties splitting assets (which have strangely become real-time mediations on their commitment to one another), disagreeing over custody of, among many things, their offspring of business (those fertile creatures that resemble accounts, contracts and other assets), and essentially attempting to disengage a portion of their life with the utmost vigor. It appears that they enter into a business dissolution with the same fervor that they enter into a business relationship. The observations of this scientist indicate that dissolving a partnership may be considered a human expression the likes of which are unknown in the known universe. It is an intricate study in the chemistry of submission. Humans like to imagine that they have struck deals like full-functioning automotrons, yet they do not understand the true cost of a hastily arranged dissolution agreement. They hope that they will use this knowledge, as well as the document that reflects what little accord remains, to begin anew, like recycled inorganic material; yet they do not understand the true cost of a hastily arranged dissolution agreement. The dissolution agreement, like the sample partnership dissolution agreement (see footnote three), will likely fade into the history of the losing faction, and eventually be an afterthought on the mind of the other entity. As the worlds seek to progress further down the technologically progressive path that leaves those afflicted with organic matter behind, perhaps they will take a moment to observe their financial endeavors. Because amongst the samples of human documents that are stored in the vault of errors (as the scientist calls it) resides a perfect partnership dissolution agreement sample. This sample demystifies and condenses the information contained in similar documents into the simplest subsistence for consumption. It contains instructions that make the coordination of a partnership seem easier from the onset and less cumbersome towards the finalization of a relationship. Time will tell whether the samples provided ease the dissolution process or simply proliferate organic dissatisfaction. What may be left is a mere lesson in all that is disappointing in human relations.